Dear Jeanne,

It is so hard to even talk about this. I am officially heartbroken.

I guess that I fell prey to someone who was just after money. It felt so good to receive the attention from him for the past several months that I just didn’t catch on to his intentions soon enough.

Ten thousand dollars later, I finally said no and I have not heard from him since then.

A good friend of mine was the one who pointed out some of his patterns of needing money and if she had not done that I might not have said no when I did. I could see it I suppose, I just didn’t want to accept that what felt so right in so many ways could be so wrong.

I am educated and quite successful in my career. How could I not see this for what it was sooner?

How do I ever trust anyone again?

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Dear Heartbroken,

First of all, I want to reach out and give you a long hug. Having been in the heartbroken space myself before, I recognize the pain that you are feeling.

There are a few things that I can offer here that might provide perspective and perhaps even aid you in your healing. These are things that moved me and others forward to the level of life and love that we desire to have.

You are not alone in a betrayal through the leveraging of affection. Some of us can live in such a situation of betrayal for years. You have only invested months, a much shorter time than some.

I intentionally use the word “invest” here. You have the potential to glean so much understanding and wisdom from this experience that can pay you ongoing dividends in your life. The key is to leverage it as an investment into your future happiness.

Starting with you is primary. In fact, rebuilding yourself and your love for yourself is your next step.

The more we like and love our own selves, the less that we have a gaping need to be filled by others. Manipulators are very good at reading and capitalizing on this level of need in another.

Working with someone qualified in helping you to determine that path of self-work is really important. The right person can guide you to information and practices that will help you rebuild and expand your core self-love.

That core self-love is foundational for any strong, loving relationship. When we love ourselves, a partner relationship is stronger, healthier, and has “good bones” for future expansiveness.

Doing forgiveness work around your own decisions will be an important part of restoring your sense of confidence and trust in yourself. There are a few practices in this realm that can be explored to get this result. I would recommend this as a primary step in the work that you do.

In closing, just know that as much as your journey is unique to you, your experience is not. There are many who have experienced misappropriated trust and felt the betrayal of another in this way. Take a deep breath and be open to all of the personal growth that is ahead for you and it will occur – and forever enhance your life.

As always, please reach out to me for any clarifications on what I have offered here.

Much love to you,