I reflect today on one of the best actions that I ever took in my life … to marry my husband, Denny. Today we celebrated 32 years of marriage.
To say that the time has flown by is an absolute understatement.
What I know today is that relationships are created continually. Relationships are wonderfully unique, spontaneous AND predictable, all at the same time.
Like most couples, Denny and I can go through a series of days where our rhythm is just a bit “off”. With the right “tools”, we can get back to that wonderful feeling of “in-synch-ness”, quite quickly.
The “tools” that I am referencing are books, audios and the association with positive-minded people – including listening to people with greater results and applying what we’ve learned (rinse and repeat). From these tools, our mindset becomes strengthened and our relationship is smoother,
Communication is the one skill (yes, it is an acquired skill) that can be the “culprit” or “champion” in relationships.
The speed of communication reflects the health of any relationship. How quickly you communicate when there is an issue or challenge with your partner reflects how much trust is present. This actually pertains to any relationship, not just romantic ones.
In his book SPEED OF TRUST, Stephen Covey talks about the relationship between trust and communication. The higher the trust, the higher the communication (frequency and speed of it).
Communication trumps everything and is one of the keys to great relationships. Add to that a good amount of Emotional Intelligence (knowing when and how to express yourself to be received and understood), and you have a winning formula.
What if you’re reading this and communication has “broken down” or is failing? My recommendation is to devour the book THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES by Dr. Gary Chapman. That book has been around for decades and has prompted several other versions on this idea to be published.
It’s an easy-read and teaches principles through the story of others in relationships. There are tons of takeaways for immediate implementation. The testimonies (mine included) of how quickly people created happier relationships are boundless.
Implementation is key, of course. To read great books and not take action on what you learned doesn’t produce much of any results. We must implement.
One last nugget: take full responsibility for the relationship – ALWAYS! The times that I spent nit-picking whose responsibility for communicating it was (early into our marriage), I would love to have back as a “do-over”.
Understanding that you each must lead at various times is part of a mature, loving relationship. Shredding the “scorecard” will also contribute to the speed-of-trust-environment that you and your partner can easily grow, blossom and flourish in.
Your relationship is unique and is as beautiful, harmonious and filled with love as you create and allow it to be.
Happy Anniversary, Denny Fritch. Thank you for another beautiful year of true partnership.